NCR: Sima Says > A Year In Review
Living to 44 has been mind blasting for me. A lot happened and so much changed. Ultimately each of us must decide how we want to live and learn how to be more discerning. We will all meet shiny people who blind us with their brilliance but wait before running off with them so you may see the ones that have a steady flame in the centre and will go the distance with you.
A number of people asked me to write a post about a few things I’ve learned along the way. I endeavour to carry these lessons with me from today onwards and promise to surround myself with people who will remind me if and when I forget.
1. Release ALL expectations from everything & everyone. This is pretty much a mind f*ck and takes daily practice. But it is so worth it. Because you create space to experience people, places and things closer to what they truly are in that moment vs. what you expect them / it to be. Expectation is directly linked to Attachment. Attachment is the source of much of our suffering.
2. It’s the information age & the highway of technology sees everyone speeding. My advice: SLOW DOWN. If you receive a harsh email from someone who tells you a) you suck at your job b) you’re a horrible human being c) points out all the things wrong with you d) gives you unsolicited advice or opinions (I’m 100% guilty of this one) e) all of the above - DON’T RESPOND. Be patient. Someone else is taking the time to formulate another message to you. They are the match in the darkness. Wait for their message. It’s coming. This message is one that is a) supportive b) kind c) loving d) points out how you contribute goodness to the world & their life e) all of the above.
If you’re someone who tends to send thunder thumbs or trigger finger volatile messages: STOP. Your words are harming another human being but they are mostly harming you. Anger & Hurt are blinding. When you regain your vision you may not have anyone around left to burn.
3. The middle path is the best path. When you find something that feeds your soul - this could be another person, yoga, religion, church, philanthropy, knitting, reading, running, cross fit, food, sex, binge watching Netflix, house cleaning - pull back and find your centre. Anything you do that turns your life into a lop-sided lorry means you probably need to redistribute your load so you don’t cause a major accident. Get the balance right.
4. Don’t gossip. I qualify this as talking about someone when they are not present and saying things you would never say if they were present. It will ruin more than your relationships - it will eat away at your health and rob you of miracles that are earmarked for you. Stop this one thing and watch your life profoundly change.
Note: Pretending like you don’t do it doesn’t count.
5. Have the courage to be authentic. Being fake is literally a waste of your life. Ask yourself: What could I be doing that is more truthfully me. You’ll become a game changer. And that is what you were put on the planet for.
6. Be of service. If you can connect someone to help them get a job, meet someone they may fall in love with, offer advice that has been solicited, provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, directions, a lift, hand me down clothes, personal or household items you no longer need but they do - do it. Sharing expands the heart. The heart is your only indefatigable muscle. Think about it. It keeps beating even while you sleep.
Note: This doesn’t include being an accommodator whose available for things people can Google and don’t because they are lazy.
7. Spend time in Nature. Don’t wait to go outside when the weather is nice. We go out in the world when we aren’t particularly nice but somehow punish Mother Nature by withholding ourselves from her until she gives us what we want. In that way - we are all bratty kids. Smarten up. Notice how every person who has blown your mind engages with Mother Nature regardless of what she’s giving us? Yeah - that’s not a coincidence.
8. Stand in the light of kindness. Even and especially with those who present themselves as adversaries and enemies. Be kind. It’s good for your health.
photo: taken by my father, David Kumar. August 1976 - sixth birthday party.